


Understanding Love

by Varewulf



Category: Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Polyamory, Yuri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-14
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2019-03-04 20:00:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13372038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Varewulf/pseuds/Varewulf
Summary: Set after the end of season 2, You comes to realise she is in love with both Chika and Riko. The tricky part is figuring out what to do about it, and how.





	Understanding Love

**Author's Note:**

> This idea I actually had a burning desire to get started with, someone recently realising their polyamorous feelings, and trying to figure out how to deal with that, but I struggled with it as it went along. I'm not entirely happy with it, but I spent several days going between working on this, procrastinating, and doing nothing else useful, so I at least want to show something for it. I think it's decent overall, and there's certainly bits in here I love, but it doesn't feel like my strongest effort. I was almost tempted to scrap it, but at this point I'd hate discarding this amount of work more than I'd hate posting something I think could be better. Maybe it's the best I can hope for in the middle of winter. I don't have the same energy levels and patience as I do the rest of the year. Feels like it's time to let go and move on, regardless.

Watanabe You was nervous. She was currently in the room with the two most important people in her life, and for some reason her heart seemed to be even harder to calm down than usual today. Something had awakened inside her recently, and it was getting increasingly tough to deal with.

She loved Chika. Her dear childhood friend, who had always been there for her, with whom she had shared so much. The wonderful girl who shone like the sun every time she smiled. Who could sometimes feel so lonely and frustrated because she didn't want to bother other people with her problems. Because she was head-strong, determined, and kept having to be reminded that it was okay to ask for help. You had always admired Chika.

And she had always loved Chika. But had she always _loved_ loved Chika? She didn't have a good answer for that.

But she also loved Riko. The attractive transfer student who seemed cool, but could be really dorky at times. Rarely able to see her own brilliance, she would get self-conscious about things that seemed a little silly to You. Speaking of silly, You had been jealous at first of how Chika paid attention to Riko. Maybe that should have been a clue. But seeing Riko work so hard to overcome her doubts and fears had been inspiring. _Even overcoming her biggest fear_ , You thought as she glanced over at Prelude sleeping in her little doggy bed. Before she knew it, You had grown fond of Riko. Quite fond indeed, it turned out.

That was now You's main quandary: Was it okay to love two people at the same time? She didn't think she could pick one over the other. Then it would be better to pick neither, and save everyone the heartache.

She leaned back, and smiled a little as she watched the two argue over music. If only she had someone to talk to about this. The ones she talked to the most were sitting right in front of her, but were also the subject she needed to talk to someone about. Kanan had left, and You wasn't sure about calling her for this. And it didn't feel right to burden the second-years with this. Her parents... well, her father had once sat down to talk to her about boys. You hadn't felt much interest, and had been able to honestly assure him that she wouldn't be bringing any home any time soon. Had figured it was too early for her to care. Considering recent developments, maybe it was more that interest in boys wasn't particularly relevant to her. As for her mother, You felt entirely too awkward to bring the subject up.

So far all she had done was suppress the issue. Suppress her feelings. But how long could she keep it all contained? Part of her felt like she was wasting her youth by not acting on this. This was their last year, and afterwards... they hadn't talked about it, but they might end up parting ways like Dia, Kanan, and Mari had. Could she bear that? Could she handle not voicing her feelings before such a time arrived? She kept telling herself she still had time, but sitting on it until the last minute felt about as cowardly as not saying anything at all. It was still early summer, but time passed fast.

Then there was the issue of how they might respond. She was confident enough to say that they loved her, but did they... could they _love_ love her? Were they even inclined towards other girls? Even when it came to Chika, You wasn't sure. As she had only recently started noticing any interest towards romance, it wasn't like she had ever brought up the topic of 'is there someone you like'. But now she couldn't see either of them without it lurking in the back of her mind. Or sometimes at the front of her mind.

Their argument was going nowhere, so they both looked to You to get her opinion. The slightly agitated and grumpy faces they wore made her laugh. If only these moments could last forever.

As they left Riko's house, Chika offered to walk You to the bus stop. You wasn't about to refuse. She'd take any excuse to spend time with either, or both, of them. Her heart refused to stop pounding in her ears, though. The urge to reach out and take Chika's hand was strong, but she felt like they were too old to do that as just friends now.

All of a sudden Chika asked: "Hey, You-chan. Are you okay?"

"Huh?" You was taken off guard to the extent that she wasn't sure whether she had heard Chika right.

"You seem rather preoccupied lately. Are you okay?" Chika asked again.

You glanced over at Chika, and saw genuine concern in her eyes. She wasn't really okay, but could she admit that? Yet she didn't want to outright lie to Chika either. She felt like she had learned that lesson already. "Um... why do you ask?" Maybe she could dance around the subject.

"Come on, You-chan," Chika said with clearly exaggerated exasperation. "I've known you most of my life, and I can tell when something is bothering you. If anything's wrong, I want to help."

While she didn't think it was necessarily true that Chika could always tell, it must be obvious enough if she had. Maybe even Riko had noticed. Dammit, You didn't want to worry them, but she wasn't sure if she could suppress it any further than she already was. Not at this point. She didn't have as much control of her emotions as she'd like. Dammit dammit dammit.

Well, she had wanted someone to talk to. But what could she say without raising suspicion, and giving everything away? Maybe... "Chika-chan... do you think it's okay to love more than one person?" You had never claimed she was good with words, and immediately regretted the way she had said that.

"Huh? Of course!" Chika exclaimed. "I love you, Riko, the rest of Aqours, mum, dad, my sisters... lots of people!" Her smile was so bright.

You's heart had nearly stopped there when Chika had started by listing off her and Riko. "Ahaha... yeah..." she said awkwardly. Considering she felt like she had accidentally said too much, she wasn't sure if she was glad or disappointed that Chika hadn't picked up on her true meaning.

Chika gave You a curious look. "Was that not what you meant?" she asked.

"Um..." You wasn't sure how to respond to that. If she tried to elaborate now, she might just mess things up further. "I-I guess... not quite..." she said very carefully.

It was like she could hear the gears turning in Chika's head, and then it was like a light bulb turned on. "Oh! You-chan..." Chika started smirking, and her tone became very conspiratorial. "Are you trying to tell me you have a crush on someone?"

 _Dammit Chika-chan, stop sounding so smug_ , You wanted to say out loud, but couldn't. Her tongue was frozen. If only the bus would arrive already. Oh thank the gods, she could see it rounding the corner not far off.

"Whoa, you're really blushing, You-chan... hang on... more than one person..." The gears were audibly turning again. "What are you...?"

"Bus is here!" You said loudly. The pssshhh of the doors opening had never sounded more welcome. "See you tomorrow, Chika-chan!" You quickly jumped onto the bus before Chika could say anything more. A very heavy sigh escaped her as she found a seat.

She had purposefully sat down on the side where she couldn't see Chika, even though she knew that would seem weird. Everything about what she had just done would seem weird, but she had desperately needed to get away. Why had she said those things? She had known it was a bad idea, yet she had done it anyway. And had done a poor job of it as well. What on earth was Chika thinking now?

If there was any mercy in the world, then Chika would have forgotten all about it by tomorrow. Or at least dismissed it as not that important. She wasn't going to delude herself about the odds of that, though. She knew how Chika could be. Why did love have to be so difficult?

\---

A couple of days later You was walking through the halls of the school alone. She was just done with club training for the day, and was heading towards the entrance to pick up her shoes and go. There should be a bus in about 10 minutes, but even if she missed it, it was far from the last one of the day.

Chika had gone home right after class, as her family wanted her to help prepare the inn for the weekend. She had actually been a lot more understanding than You had feared. After she had prodded for a little bit, she had then actually listened when You had said she didn't want to talk about it. With a kind smile she had said: " _Alright. I'll be here when you're ready to talk_." Which made You feel a different type of awful, as she now knew she was making Chika worry, and all because she was too cowardly to admit her feelings.

But what should she say? " _Chika-chan, I love you. And I also love Riko-chan. Can you help me confess to her too, so all three of us can go out together?_ " There was just no way You could imagine that working. She sighed again. That seemed to have become a frequent thing these days.

The new school still felt weird. It wasn't like they'd had any problems since they got here. The new teachers were nice, and the students weren't that different from the ones that were at Uranohoshi. All of whom were here too, spread about.

You had joined the swimming club at the new school, as she wanted to stay active. Hanamaru, Ruby, and Yoshiko had wanted to keep going as school idols; Chika, Riko, and You hadn't really been as into it. Aqours was over, and even Chika hadn't seemed that keen on trying to keep going as a new group. She had agreed to help the second-years get their new club started though, and had sort of turned into their manager.

There had been some push to make Chika the student council president at the new school. Conceivably it could have been possible, with the full support of all the Uranohoshi students, and her fame as leader of Aqours: the group that won Love Live. But Chika hadn't been interested. It had even taken some convincing to get her to help with the new school idol club. But they had found some new members, and had enough to get the club started.

Though as You understood it, they were still in the process of trying to figure out if they wanted to form an actual unit. She might be up for helping Ruby make some costumes if they decided to go for it.

As for Riko... You could hear music travelling through the halls. A very familiar style of piano playing. For a moment she considered ignoring it, but in her heart she knew she'd like to see Riko. So she set a course for the music room.

She slid the door open, and it caused a draft that stirred the dark red hair of the person sitting at the piano. Riko's beauty still managed to take You's breath away.

"Hey," she said as she walked closer. "Didn't think you'd still be here."

Riko looked up. "Hi!" she said with a smile. "I see my siren's call lured you here."

You chuckled. "You've definitely spent too much time with Yoshiko-chan," she said, and flashed Riko a grin.

"How rude!" Riko protested, but then her smile returned. "I wanted to get in a bit of playing before the weekend, and..." She moved her hands away from the keys. "I also wanted to catch you for a bit. I was hoping you'd hear me playing, and show up."

"Really?" You smiled as she walked over to the open window, wondering if she was really that predictable. Though she noticed the expression on Riko's face.

"You-chan, are you okay?" Riko asked, and You hurriedly looked out the window. She recognised that look of concern.

 _Not you too_ , You thought, though she didn't say it out loud. She wasn't sure what to say. "Did Chika-chan ask you to talk to me?" she ended up asking. That was the first thing that came to mind.

"What? No." Riko sounded genuine. "Can't I worry about you on my own?" There was that word You didn't like to hear. "You-chan, I have eyes, and it's easy to see you've been acting different lately. Even more so in the past couple of days... did something happen? Is it something with Chika-chan?"

 _You could say that_ , was You's immediate thought, but out loud she said: "It's... complicated." As it felt like nothing could be more true.

There was the sound of the bench moving, and You could see Riko in her peripheral vision as she too moved up to the window. "Want to talk about it?" Riko asked in a gentle voice.

You considered it for a moment. "Not really..." she answered. It hadn't gone so well last time, and now she was a little scared of trying again.

"You sure?" Riko wasn't giving up that easily. "I feel like I've seen you like this before."

You finally looked at Riko with a puzzled expression. Then she remembered her bout of panic over Chika and Riko last year. "Oh." It was after that she had also started growing close to Riko. Thinking back on that now, it felt like that should have been a clear sign of how she was feeling, but the possibility hadn't occurred to her yet.

"Are you worried about Chika and me again?" Riko asked.

"No, I..." You's thoughts stumbled. _Do I have cause to be?_ she wanted to ask, but that wasn't really the issue. In fact, she wasn't sure if the two of them dating would make her situation easier or harder, but she was sure she would have noticed if they were. "I guess... I've been thinking a lot about something." It was harder and harder not to think about it.

"Oh?" Riko sounded like she was prompting You to continue.

Should she take the plunge again? You knew she might mess it up like last time, but she certainly wasn't getting anywhere by being cowardly about it. "Riko-chan..." she started to say something, but then suddenly had an idea. Maybe talking to one of them at a time was the mistake here. If she was going to go for this, surely the right thing would be to talk to both of them at the same time. Sink or swim, and she was good at swimming. Wait, her physical skills probably didn't translate to this... but either way, it was her best plan. Or at least it was _a_ plan. It could work. And if it didn't...

"You-chan?" Riko snapped her out of it.

You wasn't sure how long she'd gotten caught up in her own thoughts there, but clearly long enough to make Riko curious. "Um... I... I-I'll tell you about it the next time the three of us are together." The words came out rushed, as she had panicked a little. And had just committed to this, she realised.

Riko looked like that wasn't what she had expected to hear, but then she smiled. "Alright, but I'll hold you to that," she said.

While You wasn't sure how this was going to work out, at least she'd have time to come up with a plan.

\---

There was no plan. She hadn't been able to come up with anything. She had been half-tempted to just stay at home, but here she was, stepping off of the bus. They were meeting at Chika's place this time. She had considered inviting them to her place, as her father was out at sea, and her mother was staying out late. But she decided against it because if this went bad, she'd prefer to be able to flee, and never leave her room ever again unless her parents agreed to move to a different town.

Why was she doing this, again? There was the possibility she could pretend as if nothing had happened, and they'd just hang out like normal. That could work. Right? She had promised, though. Maybe she hadn't specifically used the word 'promise', but that was just a technicality. _Pull yourself together, You_ , she told herself. _You're practically an adult now. You can do this_.

Once she got inside, she found that both of them were already there. She wasn't sure if that was better or worse. In fact, she wasn't sure about a lot of things, but it was a little too late to worry about that now.

"You-chan!" Chika exclaimed cheerfully. Was she happy that You had come, or relieved, or both? You had admittedly been evasive this week, but she still felt a little hurt that maybe Chika had thought she wouldn't come. Then she remembered how tempted she'd been to stay at home. This was no time for hypocrisy. Plus she might be overthinking it, and Chika was just being Chika.

"Hi, You-chan," Riko said softly. The both of them were giving her expectant looks. Even if she hadn't specifically asked her to, You had assumed that Riko would fill Chika in on what You had promised.

Wait, did that mean Chika would have also told Riko about... _No, don't think about that_ , You hurriedly chided herself. "Hi..." She debated whether to sit down, and decided in favour of it. Standing up might make this even weirder, and if it made no difference, then she might as well sit. "Do you have to look at me like that? You're making me more nervous." Ah... she hadn't meant to say that out loud. Her cheeks felt warm.

The two of them looked at each other, then giggled. Great. "So what's up, You-chan?" Chika asked. A reasonable question.

"Um... well..." You really wished she had been able to come up with a plan. Some speech. Something. She took a deep breath. Steady now. "I have something I want to ask you..." How on earth should she word this, though?

"You can always ask us anything, You-chan," Riko said when You fell silent again.

The thing You wanted to ask was the same thing she had so inelegantly worded to Chika. Maybe she could choose her words more carefully. "Well... let's say hypothetically that..." It was already getting hard to look at them. Her eyes drifted downwards, and she swallowed nervously. "That someone liked more than one person at a time... would that be weird?" Ugh, that was still really bad. Why couldn't she have a better way with words?

"Yeah, I thought it was something like that you said last time," Chika said. You glanced up, and saw that Chika was nodding.

"Chika-chan," Riko said sternly. She looked over at You, who quickly looked back down. "No, I don't think it would be weird, You-chan. Maybe a little unusual? But not weird. Is there something you're trying to tell us?" she asked.

You desperately wished they would just take a hint. "M-maybe... I..." Did she really have to say it? Out loud? Alright, fine. No more cowardice. "I love you. Both of you." She felt like she was about to explode.

"Huh? What's so weird about that? We love you too," Chika sounded a bit confused.

You had to look up. Riko was looking at Chika in disbelief, and Chika was looking genuinely confused.

"No, like... _in love_ love," You clarified. Had Chika not understood that part?

"Eh?" The clunk of Chika's mind coming to a halt was readily apparent. Riko face-palmed. You wasn't sure what more to say. Surely Chika wasn't that dense.

Thankfully Riko came to her rescue. "Chika-chan... what did you think she meant?" Riko asked.

"I don't know! I didn't know!" Chika said. "I thought... wait, you're in love with me, You-chan?" Apparently Chika was that dense. You wanted to die on the spot.

"With us, yes," Riko said calmly. You still wasn't able to figure out what to say next, so she was grateful for Riko's assistance.

"Riko-chan, you knew?" Chika asked, turning to give Riko a surprised look.

Riko sighed. "I was able to figure it out based on what you told me, and how You-chan's been acting," she said. "I thought you had too."

So You had been too easy to read for Riko, but not enough for Chika. She groaned. This was a disaster.

"I didn't know!" Chika said again. "I thought maybe there was someone at school... You-chan, you could have told me," she whined, looking at You again.

"I... I just did!" You said helplessly. She felt like she was close to crying.

Riko lightly hand-chopped Chika's head. "Sorry about this, You-chan," she said. "How about you forget about this idiot, and go out with only me?" She smiled at You, and winked.

"Huh?" You was confused now. When had they gotten to the part where she had asked them out, and they'd said yes? Or at least Riko had? Or was she joking?

"No, she said both of us. I'm not going to be left out!" Chika made a dive for You, and latched onto her arm. "You-chan, you have to go out with me too," she declared.

"Huh?" You was looking at Chika wide-eyed, and no longer had any idea what was going on.

"I guess that's settled then," Riko said, and giggled.

"Huh?" What was settled? You was so confused, and had no idea what she was supposed to be feeling right now. This was all too much.

So the only logical course of action was to start crying. Whether from relief, fright, joy, confusion, or some combination of the above, that she could figure out later.


End file.
